I'll start...

It's a Friday night, we're looking to blow some time while we wait for Ellen to get out of recovery so she can be conscious and we can bug her... so we go to a bar in... Wilmette. Most. Exciting. Place. Ever. The six of us double the patronage of the place--the other half is a group of tipsy middle aged women. Bad band plays. They dance. We dance. Woman says to me "so, are you experienced?" We leave.