Note to Blog: Include More Free-Associating, Role-Playing
IDEO's ''human factors'' department organized a number of shop-alongs -- IDEO employees tagging along with women on bra-shopping trips -- and a series of ''unfocused'' groups: women were encouraged to free-associate ideas, then role-play the company out of its problems.
From Building a Better Bra Shop, The New York Times, Nov. 30, 2003

For all you ladies out there...

Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

So, tomorrow I leave for Miami and the Florida Keys for the long holiday weekend. But not without a task: One of my coworkers wants me to take one of her holiday decorations, to keep me and the boyfriend company as we frolic in the sun and sand.

So, a stuffed snowman, similar to the one here, will accompany me ordering pina coladas poolside, parasailing, getting caught in the rain or whatever. This might seem like nonsense to you, but there's an opportunity for hilarity if I document Snowman's adventures photographically, a la Amelie.

I'll post pictures when I return. Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, When You Put It That Way
"Northwestern University seems to have a problem of this sort every 10 years or so. A member of their engineering school mightily embarrassed the place by becoming famous as a Holocaust denier. Now Northwestern has a homophobic, transphobic chair of its psychology department who allegedly violates human-subject review procedures to get dirt on the communities he wants to repathologize. Go Wildcats."

From a review of J. Michael Bailey's The Man Who Would Be Queen: The Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism, which appeared in this month's Reason magazine

Your Friday Moment of Zen


Oops... Sorry about your lunch...

What the Hell v2.0
What kind of parent are you if you knowingly allow your child to frolic with Michael Jackson? Are you really that heartless/naive/stupid? It's not like Jackson is some beautiful person who leads a well-adjusted life with an unblemished personal history. At PTA meetings, you never hear parents say things like, "You know, it would be wonderful for little Jimmy to hang out at the Neverland Ranch someday."

Finally, someone takes responsibility

Man Blamed for the 'Metrosexual' Says 'Sorry' - and Outs Himself As 'Lesbosexual'

Courtesy Gawker, a new Site to See

Sick Sad World
I just had to post this one. Maybe you read about it. I thought nothing was left in this world that would upset my calloused outlook on life.

But this is just tragic.

New Low Point

I have acheived a new state of sadness. Last night I actually spent time watching VH1's "Unauthorized Story of Three's Company" and today was irked when TV Land changed its "Twice as Nice" lineup. No scheduled hour with Barbara Eden at 4 p.m. for me....

*sigh*

In other news, let's get funky.

Telephone Convo of the Day
Me: I had Thanksgiving dinner for lunch today. I'm so sleepy.
Boyfriend: You did? I had turkey too!
Friend of boyfriend/associate (in the background): "Oh, wow honey, we're the same! Let's bang!"

Oh yeah, this too...

NU panel to investigate prof's [Bailey] research tactics

The Gaysplosion Continues...

Massachusetts Court Strikes Down Gay Marriage Ban

And In Record Time

a conversation about the post below has already occured.

me: you might want to amend that you're joking about being in the Potomac
me: cause someone might call the fuzz on ya
Mark: I'm not sure if I am or not
Mark: that's the great thing about blogs
me: well, just watch out for the men in white coats coming to take you away
Mark: It'd give me something to do
me: heh
Mark: Then again, they'd probably only want me if I were passionate about being insane
Mark: See, what I'm concerned about is---
I'm just trying to get a sense of whether you really love being insane, or if you can just take it or leave it. Can you be insane 24/7? Can you live, breathe, eat, sleep being insane?
me: hee hee
me: i guess you'll find out.

Bend Over and Grab the Ankles
Question: Why did no one with any semblance of professional qualifications bother to inform me during the past--oh, I don't know--four years that wasting thousands of dollars pursuing a "practical" degree was, in reality, damning myself on a one-way train to the land of starving artists?

Perhaps I forgot to inform the snotty woman at the magazine where I interviewed today that I don't care about an internship. Or, that I don't care about being yet another slave, more like cheap labor, to simply be demeaned as a quasi-student, a joke of a human being, while my friends go on to have real lives complete with, say, places to live, health insurance, toasters and TiVo.

Someone please inform her that long before I became a failure, I was someone with success written all over him, someone who could still hide behind the veil of school, with its sharply written rules, someone who was so diverse with his interests that he fooled everyone into thinking he could survive in a world beyond school, where the rules were different and he methods of success no long applied.

Tell her that I see through her mirage of hope, and that after 5 meaningless months of monkey work I did for better pay 3 years ago, there won't be any pot of gold for me. Tell her that I know I'll be in the same boat, dealing with the same damn clueless HR mavens, answering the same incessant questions--only this time trying to pay off $30,000 I don't have that I borrowed for a degree I didn't need and that doesn't help me.

Tell her that my vision of success doesn't include researching prize homes for sale in Bethesda for $6.15 per hour.

Tell her I don't care about some damn dream New York fantasy, and that all I want is a place to live that isn't someone else's, to be able to say for once that I'm not mooching from someone.

Someone tell her that I'm more than just a joke.

Someone tell her that, if she decides to give me this internship and needs to get ahold of me, I'll be drowning myself in the Potomac.

I'm with you--screw consulting. But if you're going to be a ballerina, can I have your old job?

Screw Consulting
I'm going to be a ballerina who lives in a castle and rides pretty pretty white horses. (Not any other color, 'cause I'm prejudice and shit.) I also plan on marrying Hugh Jackman and becoming a hip-hop producer in my golden years.

Blogger comments on the Onion's recent article.

Your Opinions, Please

Say, hypothetically you've contracted mono. The doctors (if you can call the female Doogie Howser at Searle a "doctor") tell you that you will be contagious for quite some time. You had planned on going home for Thanksgiving for 6 days to see your family--you and you dad and stepmom usually go to your stepmom's brother's for Thanksgiving day, which is three hours away, and spend a few days there.

However, one of your stepmom's brothers is expecting a newborn baby immediately preceding Thanksgiving, so you suggested that she ask him if it would be a good idea to have your contagious self around the baby, as well as the SEVEN other children under 12. They say that's it probably a good idea that you refrain from coming, which you find perfectly acceptable.

In your warped little world, you assume that this means that you will have a quiet Thanksgiving at home with your parents. They disagree. They decided that they will have a mini-Thanksgiving Wednesday night and then "leave your ass at home" (in your father's words) Thursday. Your father will return Friday or Saturday, and your stepmom most likely not until Sunday. You arrive Tuesday night depart Monday early afternoon.

Also, you have three paper/project based classes (the fourth will be completed prior to Thanksgiving) which will have major assignments due the week immediately following break.

So, what would you do?

A) Go home as planned, just to spend the majority of your break at home alone, doing homework
2) Throw a temper tantrum until your parents changed their plans
Finally) Cancel your non-refundable ticket (sacrificing a $100 change fee, but hopefully getting a credit for the remainder towards a future flight), and have an NU Thanksgiving

Also, who's going to be around should you hypothetically choose the final option?

Mike Tyson's Psychological Assessment

I'm taking a Psychological Assessment class now (where we learn about all the psychological and neurological tests we give). My class this week is on report writing - how to synthesize all the results and present them. And as an example, my Professor gave us a copy of the report from Harvard Medical School on Mike Tyson from September, 1998, as demanded by the Nevada Gaming Commission following the Hollyfield-biting incident (Tyson waived his confidentiality, so she wasn't breaking the law).

Highlights include:

"It appears that Mr. Tyson's foul was the product of several factors: depression, impulse control problems exacerbated by depression, a sense that no one was protecting his interests, and a variety of social and financial pressures."

"Mr. Tyson reported that he has felt 'depressed his whole life.'"

"He did exhibit some difficulties with working memory, sequencing and switching sets, perseveration...he indicated that he has a history of difficulties with reading, spelling, and math."

"Mr. Tyson reports that, 'I have no self esteem but the biggest ego in the world.'"

"He exhibited a thoughtful and empathic dimension of his personality, with expressions of concern about oppressed social groups."

"It is the unanimous opinion of the evaluation team that Mr. Tyson should be engaged in a course of regular psychotherapy with the goal of building trusting relationships, understanding and managing his emotional responses to specific situations, and anger management skills...it is our recommendation that his treatment be centered on the management of emotions through psychotherapeutic interventions rather than medications."

and, as you know, "It is the opinion of the evaluation team that Mr. Tyson is mentally fit to return to boxing, to comply with the rules and regulations, and to do so without repetition of the events of June 28. 1997...It is our understanding that the Commission does not have the authority to stipulate ongoing psychotherapy as a condition for Mr. Tyson's return to boxing. However, we recommend that this treatment be strongly encouraged to the degree that it is possible.

It's comforting to see that you can be suspected of killing your significant other, suspected of killing your publicist who was scheduled to be questioned about the disappearance of your significant other, and confess to "accidentally" killing and dismembering your next-door neighbor and still be found not guilty.

You were also arrested for stealing a $5 sandwich despite having more than $500 in your pocket.

Innovations In Broke College Studentry

This auction that was linked through Fark made me think of a line from my favorite movie, The Great Escape:

"Now why didn't anyone think of that before? It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant!"

YOU Be the Editor
Below, Patrick asks what ridiculous steps a hypothetical editor of The Daily Northwestern might take to cover the unfolding "hate crime" spree on campus. Having hypothetically edited that paper myself not so long ago, I'm happy to offer a few thoughts on the matter.

First, you would want to make sure the print version of today's story had a bold, eye-catching headline -- "Prejudiced actions continue" ought to do it. For the story below, your reporter should fail to elicit any comment from police and administrators about the three-foot swastika -- otherwise you risk adding meaning and context . Instead, note approvingly that the student government's "hate crimes task force" had scheduled an "emergency meeting." You would forget to mention that ASG formed a similar task force after football player Bobby Russ was shot to death by Chicago police in 1999, yet somehow failed to prevent future deaths of NU football players. Finally, make sure that your lead story jumps to the wrong page.

I'd pass these suggestions along to the current editors, but they seem to have all their bases covered.

The New Northwestern, Home of Hate?
Last spring, Northwestern was the university that dumped the flask in the whale tank. Now it's the university that writes "Die whale!" on the side of the tank. And once that whale goes off campus, it get a good punch to the blowhole and has its plankton stolen.

You're the editor of the Daily Northwestern. What ridiculous steps do you take to blow the lid off this hate scandal?

OR

You're the student head of NNN. What ridiculous steps do you take in your new continuing team coverage of "The New Northwestern, Home of Hate"?

For reference, consult the Daily or major Chicago-area media. Commence.

Fun Fact of the Day

Ron Jeremy has a BA in Theatre.

Sidenote: E! showed a clip from San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon on Tempted: The High Price of Fame.

...mental note:

don't have sex in church...

Funnies

"Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman."
~from Boys in the Band, our big gay history movie of the week

"I wanna get down on my knees
And start pleasin' Jesus
I wanna feel his salvation all over my face..."
~lyrics to a song on the most recent episode of South Park, in which Cartman starts a Christian rock band

"It's easy to find beauty in the world, if you know where to look. We find it in the phwap, our word (noun or verb) for the dramatic yet graceful release of a spoonful of extra richness onto your welcoming burrito."
~printed on the side of my Chipotle cup--I think I've phwapped a few people...

"Shouldn't the homemaker be busy making the home?"
~dipshit in my advertising class, when we were discussing homemakers watching daytime TV

Fun Science Fact Of The Day

Ducks and dolphins can sleep with one hemisphere of their brain at a time.
wish i could do that!

Who killed the fun?
When did it die? Was I asleep? Somehow, my days have become filled with spreadsheets, and business plans, and corporate-speak. When did everything become so boring?

Oh Give Me A Home

Where the buffalo roam...