My trip isn't titled, "Cleo Does Spain"

Listen people, I would like to assure all of you that my impending trip will not include any of the STDs mentioned in Joel's post below. I won't be learning such phrases in Spanish as, "Are you, how you say, legal?" And, I won't be seduced by men who speak of their rampant STDs in Spanish in a way that's pure poetry. No no no. You (and you know who are you) can keep suggesting it, but it's just not happening.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!