Although I Guess The Logo Does Have Kind Of A Rainbow Thing Going For It

MOM: I've been thinking about getting a Hotmail account.
CASEY: Yeah, Hotmail's OK. I prefer Gmail myself.
MOM: Why?
CASEY: Well, I would tell you, but I don't want to bore you.
MOM: Why, what is Gmail? Gay mail or something?
CASEY: No, Mom. The "G" in Gmail stands for Google, not "gay."

Joel's gone straight

He needs to stop drinking.

That is all.

Cue Theme from Rocky

From the Hewitt 5k and posted on the Hewitt intranet:

Our Relationship in a Nutshell...

Joel: would you care to be my date to a wedding reception?
Cleo: would i ever miss a chance to be your beard?! hell no!

Finally, some intelligent political analysis

If Only John Kerry Knew How to Sing

I'm so taken with this idea: I'd love to be a "cereologist," a consultant who specializes in assisting patrons of a Cereality. Since it would be socially acceptable to wear PJs to work, I'm digging on this more than the Beer Garden Girls thing.

Blatantly stolen from Coop

Music Musings

Tonight, after carefully reviewing the Dillo Day schedule, I've determined that the Mayfest kids aren't so terrible after all. I've never been a big fan of Bob Marley, so I don't really care for The Wailers, but all the other groups are quite listenable.

The Foster Walker Complex absolutely kicks ass and they have that great name that Cooper raved about. Michael Tolcher, Toby Lightman, and Gavin DeGraw are all slightly sappy, teenage girl crazed, bubble gum pop-ish, but great choices for a free concert. I particularly like Tolcher's "Sooner or Later," which is sadly available to listen to on his website, but not available for download. I'm not sure how I feel about The M's, but The Pharcyde seems like a fun hip-hop group.

I'm sure some of you will totally disagree with me, and to you I say "nyah!" But, I wasn't going to go to see any of the concerts at all this year--now, I'll probably go to the majority.

For those of you in Chicago this summer, here are some other free or cheap concerts of note:
6/18 - Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright at Ravinia (sadly, I'm going to a wedding reception, should you care)

Taste of Chicago
7/1 - Melissa Etheridge
7/2 - Peter Frampton / Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo
7/4 - Counting Crows / They Might Be Giants / OLD 97’S

7/16 - Guster at Old St. Pat's World's Largest Block Party (this one isn't even posted on the Old St. Pat's website yet)

Comment with any additions you have.

Cars gone wild

I think the DC Unfocus Group contingent should check out this guy's offer to wash your car naked.

Oh, Officer...

SF Cops In Hot Water For Porn Flicks.

Key Quotes:
"She and Watts, 27, then vigorously proceed to demonstrate a variety of full cavity search techniques not found in the standard police manual."

and:
""Hey, this is San Francisco -- what do you expect?'' said Sgt. Joe Garrity, who worked out of the same station as the porn cop.

"Personally, I haven't seen the movie -- but then I'm more of a Disney kind of guy,'' Garrity said.

He added, "But from what I hear, Brad Pitt doesn't have anything to worry about.''"

Unfocus Group strikes again!

In the hopes of giving my groggy morning a kick in the pants, I did a quick review of the Unfocus Group archives. Some of you may remember Jon's post about the flamingo-adorned house that bunched some panties. It seems that the owner of the house, one Jill Hunter, has responded to Jon's account. Unedited and in full:

i just saw your comments about my house and the flamingos. there's are some pictures on my website of some of the flamingo installations i did, both on my lawn and on my neighbors'. an NYU film student made a film about the story which is having an "opening" at the West Newton Cinema in June. thought you might like to know. sincerely, jill hunter ps. i loved your caption "Suburban Revenge"...

Wow. Once again, I'm in awe of the power of our wee blog. This kind of thing seems to be happening a lot lately--right up there with the porn photographer who requested that his Friendster message be removed because it was causing him problems....

How Can Something So Straight Look So Gay?

Introducing Claymate No. 1:



(Via whatevs.org)

Unfocus Group in Action

In the old Hotmail box tonight:

"Casey,

It seems someone is under the impression that I have stolen this Gmail account from you. Please believe me that I have not. It simply slipped my mind to tell you that I had mailed your cd the very next day after the swap was made. In fact, I had planned to say to you not to give me permission to the account until you had received the cd, but you had already given it to me before I got a chance. I replied to the person (known only as Nate Pence) trying to explain my case as well, but have not received a reply yet. I mailed the cd to the address you gave me, I'll write it back to you so you know I have it still."

It goes on from there. Many thanks to Nate and everyone who helped me prove, once again, the raw power of Unfocus Group.

Later that Evening...

Being oh so horribly drunk, I decided it would be a good idea to try smoking. I failed miserably and reaffirmed my decision to be a non-smoker. Plus this post will hopefully push that other awful picture off the page.

A visual representation of my physical condition

Your Friend, Andrew W.K.

New show from MTV2: "You've got a new friend when the inimitable Andrew W.K. turns himself into a rock and roll Dear Abby, fielding requests and helping you with your most perplexing problems. Premieres on MTV2 Saturday, May 22 at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT."

Submit a question for Andrew here.

Gmail frenzy

The Washington Post reports that people are resorting to desperate measures (and eBay) to get their hands on a Gmail account. Hmm...

First blood, now this

US to turn gays away from sperm banks

This is starting to get really irritating.

In response to Mark's post...

Since the comments feature is being fickle, I'm posting this here...

Awesome. You can also find Amazon info on Rev. Bock's book here. CNN also has info on a lawsuit involving the book's name.

For Elisa and Mark

They went to high schools in different states. But they will be brought together by laughter at something I just noticed tonight:

The name those high schools shared is also shared by a liquor store I pass every night on my way home.

Mark will also note that it's not far from where his parents lived when they were in L.A.

(cue Twilight Zone theme music)

Official zeitgeist

Congrats to Elisa's father, whose latest in a string of successes is breaking into the pages of the most recent issue of Time Magazine.

The issue says:
"Christian publishers have churned out more than half a dozen books refuting the Code. One of them, Breaking the Da Vinci Code (Thomas Nelson), is also a best seller."

The geeks takes over Wrigley

Yesterday was Northwestern's day at Wrigley Field. More than 2,000 students and about 100 alums warmed themselves with beer and good cheer in the face of shitty weather and a shitty game.


We're so cute!


The gays had terrible seats in the upper corner of the field. Naturally, these freaks squatted in the seats behind us.


These folks were tons of fun, shouting obscenities and mocking the prowess of the field rakers. They repeatedly insisted that they weren't on crack. Something tells me they don't go to NU.

Helping people who need help

I'm glad my company made me walk/jog a 5k, because clearly there are people who need help.

Victor @ the Hewitt 5k on Saturday

Lost in Translation

Back from New York.

One day, I hope to finally understand what the Chinese videos on this bus are saying.

Yesterday's adventure had something to do with a businessman turned porn star and the shame it caused his family--or at least that's the plot I made up in my head.

Thank Jesus

Creed's guitars stolen.

Why does he do this to me?

A few years ago, Bono spoke to the Harvard graduating class. This year, he spoke at University of Pennsylvania. Is Northwestern not good enough for him? Sigh.

Nominate me for Fabulous Chicago Twentysomethings!

As seen today on Cooper's blog, Chicago's RedEye and Metromix are currently looking for "Chicago's most fabulous twentysomethings -- people who have soared in their professions and live life to its fullest."

So, nominate me! If you need inspiration, take a hint from Coop's submission: "Consultant, blogger, socialite, regaler of both true and tall tales. If you only knew the half of it, you could feed a family of four for a week."

Oh, and I'll love you forever if you nominate me. Thanks!!!

Your Friday moment of Zen

Joel and Adam @ Adam's undergrad happy hour

Hipster tool of the moment

So, what do y'all think of Dodgeball?

I knew this town had some redeeming quality...

Anybody been checking out Jeopardy this week from DC with their celebrity guests? Al Franken? Ashleigh Banfield? It's been fucking hilarious--well, as far as Jeopardy can be. Anyway, I hope I'm not alone on this one for once.

So, so alone...

Poetry (of Donald Rumsfeld) in Motion

http://stuffedpenguin.com/rumsfeld/lyrics.htm

Welcome to the detail page for the disarmingly funny set of songs, The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld. The new songs have been featured on CNN, NPR, the BBC, and elsewhere in the media and are available on CD from Stuffed Penguin Music. Here we answer the question, "What on earth ARE these songs?"

...

Written by composer and pianist Bryant Kong, the songs are in an accessible style based in classical music, with strong popular influences from cabaret to pop music. They are sung by soprano Elender Wall.

Cleo's New Job

Has been found (by Coop).

If only it were Martinis and not beer, she'd probably quit her real job to go do that.

Dashboard Confessional

It has been said that the one thing upon which all Americans can agree is that their local TV news is worse than everyone else's. My local TV news (and the local news of much of Unfocus Group) emanates from the great city of Chicago, where we have a pretty strong case for the crown. Despite it being 2004, we are still treated to Fox stories like this recent one about something called "blogging." Watching it was a little like listening to a radio piece about television in which the medium is referred to as "the talking picture box." That is to say, it's a little condescending. How condescending? It features footage of the movie The Blob. No, really. See for yourself.

Self-serving need to bash TV journalism aside, I published this item just to test out Blogger's vaunted new "dashboard." How was it? Well, suffice to say that I went from "zero" to "blog" in 6.4 seconds. But the "gas" cost me "$2.37" a "gallon". Also, it made me start using air quotes. In conclusion, Joel's post about the plastic balls was gross.

Dashboard!

Need a Great Gift Idea?

I think a set of these would look awesome on Adler's Explorer.

Best Blog Ever?

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/

New blogger indeed sucks

So much for editing posts. Does Blogger want us all to spell like the nation's unwashed 13-year-old girls? In other news, Laz, you need to find yourself a barber shop. Only a barber could cure the great troubles of which you speak.

Gimme a hug!

How can we get one of these guys in Chicago? Who doesn't need a free hug?

God. New Blogger sucks a big fatty.

But one good thing about the new interface is that it tells you how many posts are currently in your blog. 488! Go Unfocus Group!

In other news... For the last couple of weeks, my company's morning shuttle has been taking an alternate route due to construction. Everyday, about five minutes of the trip is spent meandering through a quiant little suburban neighborhood. And everyday, I pass by a young boy waiting for his schoolbus.

Only, when I first saw him, he wasn't merely standing around looking bored. He was sprawled face down on the driveway of his house, his bookbag and sack lunch scattered. I thought he was dead, but when I saw him twitch and swat a fly I realized he was just a very disturbed boy. Everyday, I see him in some variation of the death sprawl. Isn't that weird?

Public Service Announcement I

Here's a tip for all you guys out there: If you walk into a drug store prepared to peruse and pick out condoms, just do it. Don't walk down the condom/pet food aisle, spot an attractive customer looking at condoms and lose your gusto. While this attractive person is trying to pick out a suitable brand/type of condom, don't pretend to try to figure out which brand of Puppy Chow little Spot would like.

And don't, when this attractive customer makes a selection and ambles away, quickly skim the condom selection, make a quick grab and run away. Because you think this attractive person isn't looking but, oh yes, s/he is.

Thank you.

And, what the hell is dog food doing next to the condoms???

Your Friday Moment of Zen

Introducing the Rummy-o-Meter!

Thanks to Gusto

Cooper should love this...

Nigeria solves the mystery of cold fusion--needs your help!

More Adventures In Gay Shenanigans

Today's episode: Drag Queen Car Theives Steal Cars To Compete Across The South.

Yes! The Shore Club!

Actually, that'd be perfect. I recall stumbling in there at some point during my one and only time on Collins Avenue because I saw Alonzo Mourning in there.

In other news: Ellen, while I know you would never come visit me, if you decide to, fly Delta.

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder

Raiding Michael's Underpants

"Per the Post, the 45-year-old Jackson is a briefs man. The paper said investigators took two pairs of white, slightly used Calvin Klein briefs from the Asbury Park warehouse. Prosecutors believe they'll find Jackson's DNA in the form of 'bodily fluids' on the undershorts, the newspaper said.

Attention Car Buyers

Another factor to take into consideration when selecting your vehicle.

Proud Moments in Gay History

Party Barge Flips During Gay Event at Lake in Austin, Texas; 2 Injured

Pay special attention to the fourth paragraph, where they explain why the barge sank.

Red Hot Miami Shit

Is this the kind of place you had in mind? I had dinner and drinks there--it's amazing. The people are what you'd expect: Anorexic, coked up, Botoxed, oiled and scantily clad. Jay Z was there the night I stopped by. I think Nate would love to roll in a place like this.

You did say we had unlimited funds, right?

This is only the beginning... More to come...

Me and the bars

Is it OK for a young woman to go to a bar, have a drink, maybe partake in a little conversation, all by herself? I just realized that I've never been to a bar alone, never ever. I almost always go with a friend. I ask because there's a cute neighborhood watering hole across the street from my place, and it seems to be an "everybody knows your name" type of establishment. But I don't want to seem like that sad girl at the bar, friendless in a world of plenty. Or, worse, looking to hookup with some bar manho.

What should I do? Should I just suck it up and go? Have you frequented bars alone?