To Help You Shop For My Brother This Holiday Season

So I spend $20 on a Christmas present for my brother, then make the mistake of calling him to ask what else he might like in the $20-30 range. I present his response below. Before you ask, I have no idea what "a craft of milk" is.

I've been thinking about you asking me what I want for Christmas for under $20.00 because you've already done half of my gift buying. I have no idea. That's like giving me a craft of milk, and asking me what the type of feed the cow eats ... or maybe not. I don't know, it's been really hard. I need some cologne, but if that's too much get me a nice-looking dress shirt I can wear as standard uniform with jeans and sandals to the bar. What I've been really looking for is a T-shirt of the 1986 Mexico Olympics where the two American track and field athletes "raised up their fists for black freedom" in black (large). That's probably too specific, but I think that it would be sweet.

Indeed. So if any of you have any T-shirts laying around from the 1986 Mexico Olympics -- which I am fairly certain never took place -- please drop me a line. Thanks much, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS BILL O'REILLY. HAPPY SECULAR LIBERAL ATHEIST HOLIDAYS.