As Seen In Santa Barbara

I guess Saint Nick retired to Southern California.

Irritable Male Syndrome

This press release was just too good to leave sitting unnoticed on the BusinessWire site...

September 28, 2005 05:40 PM US Eastern Timezone Experts Available to Discuss Irritable Male Syndrome --(BUSINESS WIRE)

TOPIC: In a recent survey of 6,000 men, 40 percent of the participants claimed they were often or always irritable, according to an article by Newsweek. Psychotherapist Jed Diamond conducted the survey and believes the findings show an increase in men who suffer from irritable male syndrome. Many of the participants who claimed to be irritable were also experiencing a loss of testosterone. Researchers claim the syndrome can occur as a result of internal or external factors, such as losing a job, ending a personal relationship or experiencing a physical illness.

EXPERTS: ExpertSource can offer several highly qualified experts to comment on this story:
Dr. Gary Bernard is one of the top physicians with BodyLogicMD, a national network of anti-aging physicians who specializes in treating patients suffering from male and female menopause with natural bioidentical hormones. He is an expert in the field of anti-aging medicine and sought after speaker/expert in discussions about the dangers of synthetic hormones vs. the benefits the bioidentical hormone therapy. He is the CEO of Pointe Medical Services, Inc, a Family and Internal Medicine practice in Jacksonville Florida. He received his medical degree from Meharry Medical College, TN in 1992. Dr. Bernard started his residency at Brown University School of Medicine's Rhode Island Hospital and finished at University of Florida's Shands Hospital in Jacksonville. Dr. Bernard is Board Certified in Internal Medicine and has studied and practiced hormone replacement and anti-aging therapies since obtaining his medical license. 904-276-5700, gbernardmd@bodylogicmd.com, PR Contact: Kelli Kennedy, 954-354-1410 x10, kkennedy@moxie-group.com

Dr. Jeffrey Thackrey opened the South Florida branch of BodyLogicMD in 2005. He is part of a national network of anti-aging physicians dedicated to treating men and women suffering from menopause through the use of bioidentical hormones, fitness and nutrition. Dr. Thackrey is an expert on the subject of anti-aging and preventive medicine and the benefits of bioidentical hormone therapy vs. the synthetic hormones. He received his medical degree from Ohio State University in 1979 and completed his residency at Ohio State University Hospital. He practiced Anesthesiology for 10 years before changing directions to pursue his passion in the realm of preventive medicine. He completed a second residency in occupational and environmental medicine and is board certified by the American board of Preventive Medicine in occupational medicine. He is also a member of the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine and the fellowship program of the Academy of Anti-Aging. Dr. Thackrey has spoken on the topic of preventive medicine, anti-aging and the benefits of bioidentical hormone therapy. 877-310-5100, jlthack@aol.com, PR Contact: Kelli Kennedy, 954-354-1410 x10, kkennedy@moxie-group.com

Dr. Regine L. Sitruk-Ware is the executive director of product research and development at the Population Council's Center for Biomedical Research. She organizes and oversees pre-clinical research and clinical development of new molecules designed for reproductive healthcare in men and women. She also supervises clinical trial programs at a number of sites in different locations around the world. Prior to joining the Council, Sitruk-Ware worked in both academia and the private sector. She taught and conducted clinical research in reproductive endocrinology at the University of Paris for 10 years. While at the university, she was a member of the International Committee for Contraceptive Research, which was established by the Population Council in 1970. She was also a founding member of the International Menopause Society and served on its executive committee for several terms. She is a member of several medical societies including the American Endocrine Society, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the New York Academy of Sciences, the European Menopause and Andropause Society, the European Society for Contraception. PR Contact: Melissa May, 212-339-0525, mmay@popcouncil.org

M-A-T-U-R-I-T-Y

Scene One

Coworker #1 (female): "Check this out!" [Proceeded to lean over toward a group of her coworkers, opened her mouth and showed them the chewed up clump of lunch in her mouth.]

Coworker #2 (male) [mouth open, clearly in awe]: "Wow. That was like softcore porn."


Scene Two

Coworker #3 tried to intice me to come outside to a company BBQ being held on the stretch of grass across the street the other day.

"Let's boogie," he said, then turned around and proceeded to shake his ass in my direction.

Of course, from around the corner comes my boss.

"[Coworker #3], what are you doing?! Why are you shaking your booty?" She was polite but kind of stern.

Then she spotted me.

"Oh," she said, "Cleo's there. I should've known."

A Different Angle

This CNN story has the rather pedestrian headline "Coke Ring Allegedly Run From U.S. Prison."

Shocking, I know, but the photo caption provides much better fodder for the headline writer:



Wait until Falwell gets hold of this...

I need a vacation

I know I'm the last person who needs a vacation.

I mean, I travel enough. I had a couple of days in Alaska. Isn't that enough?

It's never enough. What spurred this realization is an email I received from an air carrier I fly with, with a $350 deal to Cancun (air + 4 night stay).

October getaway, anyone?

Smokin' hottie.

Let's all ponder the underlying message of this display for a moment. Does the pack of cigs stuffed in the back of his pants convey, "I have a smokin' ass"? Or, does it beckon, "Smoke my ass"? Hmmm...

*As seen at Chicago's Market Days fest in August 2005

Pink shirt and diamond stud, be damned!

September 2005 020
Originally uploaded by cburtley.

At the NU vs. Penn State game yesterday, we started out with a blitz but blew our load far too quickly...

Conspiracy Theory Of The Week

Toxic-Dart-Gun Toting Dolphins Set Loose By Hurricane!

Believe it or not, that story did not originate from the Weekly World News. They're too busy tracking important scientific developments.

Courtesy Fark.

Um, what?

I'm in Sacramento right now. On my way here, I was sitting across the aisle on my flight from a businessman. Me, being the businesswoman I am, was rocking out to Fountains of Wayne while partaking in some wholesome spreadsheet action. The businessman across from me seemed to be working on some papers in his briefcase...

Only, the papers seemed to consist of glossy photos of big ass titties. That's right: He was "working" with Playboy, which was nestled between some pretty awesome looking TPS-style reports.

Later, as I was exiting the plane, I overheard him talking:

"Yeah, I'm on my way to Ontario. I'm a CFO, and I have to testify in a trial..."

"I walk into the Armani store. A hooting wail pierces the sleek Italian silence."

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Excerpt from "Adventures of an International Male," in this month's Radar magazine, in which the author purchases six outfits from the International Male catalog and wears them around Manhattan:

Ensemble #4: The Crisco Kid
We're standing out a bar, waiting to go into a HurryDate speed-dating event for Jewish single, me wearing a skintight sleeveless wide-mesh black top and tight white cotton pants with black leather trim and zippers. The snug fit of the shirt accentuates the contours of my pectoral fat all too honestly, and my wiry carpet of salt-and-pepper chest hair sticks out through the mesh...

Afterward Danielle hauls me to the crowded roof bar of Sutton Place, a midtown post-college meat market. The men are in suits; the girls are pretty, and they're not forced to sit with me. It doesn't look like the crowd where a man in pointy-toed high heeled black leather slip-ons and padded crotch thong will score.

Alas, the article isn't published online. D'oh.

Too Easy

I think these guys are just trying to see how many people they can get to link to their double-entendre headline.

Found near the checkout at Dominick's

Did they decide against this purchase combination after reading that Magic Shell need to be applied to something cold to work?

Itty-Bitty Sled Dog Pup

Puppy!
Originally uploaded by cburtley.

So, I spent five days in Alaska last week, visiting my grandparents and uncle and taking in the local culture. I had a few epiphanies during my trip:

1. Alaska is chilly (50-ish degrees was the high) in early September. And it rains. A lot.

2. Dogsledders are tough stuff.

3. Young sled dogs are so cute.

4. I don't like eating animals that have been shot (reindeer and caribou in particular).

I've posted photos from my journey. Enjoy!

Attention Chicago

The Drinking Encouragement Gimmick of the Month award goes to the Handlebar:

Under its Inverse Petrol-O-Matic Beer Pricing Scheme, beer prices will fall as gas prices rise.

So with gas at $3, a pint of Goose Island 312 ale is also $3. When gas hits $4, the beer's $2. Five-dollar gas gets you beer for a buck and if gas hits $6 the beer's free.

If gas hits $6 a gallon, we'll definitely need the free beer. By the keg.

Because I really have no other means of communicating with him

Laz,

You're going to Myrtle Beach, the place of my birth and rearing this weekend?

These are concepts to live by.... As seen Labor Day at the national park center at Portage Glacier, southern Alaska.

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To see for yourself

Google satellite images of New Orleans taken Wednesday, Aug 31

Your Government at Work

I turn on the TV today after getting home at 6:15 p.m. ET.

CSPAN 2 is on, with live coverage of the U.S. Senate.

The graphic at the bottom tells me this:

"The Senate is voting on a resolution expressing sympathy for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.....this vote began at 5:30 p.m. ET."

Nice hustle, guys.

Throw Rocks at Boys

You've seen the shirts, now try it for real.
Who knew I was so good at throwing rocks at boys?
http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/games/throwrocks.html