Salt Lake City is so lovely

The people here are so nice.

It makes me wonder... Why would our friend Mark ever want to leave?

News from Champaign

So I have been kind of reclusive lately, and I apologize. There was a good reason: Ray and I are expecting again--in mid-July. That means I am 18 weeks along and almost halfway to the finish line. This pregnancy has been one of complications, and Ray and I wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby before we shared the news.

On Friday, we had the ultrasound, and everything checked out fine. We are having another boy, which is exciting. I know Aidan will be happy to have a little brother to pick on and boss around. Needless to say, our house will be a very active one for the next few years. But I am pretty excited about the latest edition, and I am looking forward to eating whatever I want for the next few months.

Get your taxes done, people -- our President keeps finding new ways to waste your money

Because he was in Mount Vernon today. Remember, Mount Vernon is a long way from the District.

The best line of the story?

"Mount Vernon is about 16 miles south of the White House. Bush traveled by helicopter."

Seen at the Chicago Auto Show

Yes, that's a shaker of parmesan in the backseat cupholder of a Jeep Patriot.

Um, anyone wanna go to London or Paris next month?

The Uncles Jon

...like "attorneys general"...
Samuel Max Lewis - born 2/9/07

Officer Mark is on patrol

So during the development of a recent, lengthy e-mail exchange humbly deemed "Consultant Meets Lawyer," the discussion turned -- as it so inevitably does -- to public nudity and to discussions of what is "open and notorious." So, for the Constultant's benefit, the Lawyer has done some research:

Chapter 720, Act 5, Title 3, Article 11, Section 9 of the Illinois Criminal Code, titled "Public Indecency," establishes that it is a violation to perform, in a public place, "a lewd exposure of the body done with intent to arouse or to satisfy the sexual desire of the person." (Emphasis added)

But don't worry too much, all you streakers: Public Indency is a Class A misdemeanor.

However, I am sure some unnamed people out there are bad, shameful people. Say, consultants. People who could have probably done something worse than your run-of-the-mill Class A. Say, a Class B misdemeanor. Say, Section 8, "Fornication": "A person who has sexual intercourse with another not his spouse commits fornication if the behavior is open and notorious."

Not surprisingly, the code does not go on to say whether sexual intercourse on the shores of Lake Michigan is "open and notorious."

Overheard in Chicago, #2957

"It's a bit like a device for collecting semen from a pig." ~on what I can only presume was NPR in a cab heading from Boystown to my home at 2:45am on a Wednesday

Beer Goggles Quantified

From our chums over at the BBC:

An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

A formula rating of less than one means no effect. Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive".

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100. At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a super model.

He lives!!!

How come every time I see someone I haven't bumped into a awhile (okay, YEARS), I get the urge to say something inane like, "So-and-so made a cameo appearance at so-and-so's place." What's wrong with me? This isn't a movie, and so-and-so isn't a celebrity.

Long story short, I saw Jack at Adam's place on Sunday. I feel like I'm in 2001 again.

Photos courtesy of Eliina and Eliina's blog

Visual Definition of "Crotchal"

Thanks to Cleo -- and Garmin.com -- for helping me define the outer contours of the crotchal region.